Bullying can affect kids from kindergarten through high school and beyond. Because of the amount of supervision, bullying in kindergarten to the end of elementary school is usually nipped in the bud. However middle school (or junior high) is usually a breeding ground for those who really like to pick on others. High school can be really bad for some students as bullies are bigger or stronger and may have picked up some bad habits on the street or from their parents.

We know that bullying is not tolerated at school, but that does not stop bullying at all. It just means that bullies pick their time more thoughtfully. Make it look like an accident. Whisper instead of shout. Evil look or gestures. Swarm. Most bullies are cowards and if picking on a same size person or a person who shows no fear, they usually do it in a pack. Gives them courage. But one on one, no - that's when fear makes its appearance. However, some bullies think they can take on anyone. It's just that they haven't learned that there is always someone who is quieter, smarter, faster, stronger, or more competent.

There are a lot of resources available for parents and teens about bullying and three are referenced below.

How to not be a bullying victim? Learn how not to be a victim, which will be covered in another blog soon.

From KidsHealth, we have this article called, Dealing with Bullies. This is a great website with lots of info for kids, teens and parents.
Also from KidsHealth there is this article called, What Kids say about Bullying.

From the US government Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), we have this article called, Bullying Affects All Middle School Kids, A Family Guide

From the US Dept of Education there is this good article called,
Friendships -- Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence, which would help parents and teens avoid situations where parents are not aware of bullying with their children.

There is no place for bullies. Some respond to guidance and some don't. The ones who don't usually end up in walkaway homes because they are unmanageable. They are most vulnerable to a life behind bars as well. So, if you can, try to talk with those who are on the bullying path. It may not be too late to help them.

Some website resources advise that fighting back is not the answer as it is violence. Well, I think people should learn to defend themselves.

Cheers - Mike

It seems that students haven't really stopped getting into fights at school. But what is more prevalent is getting someone in the hall or playground. Nothing done as a fight or a pick-on, just surprising someone with a punch or jab, ostensibly playfully.

The kids with fight training seem to fare better as they can react quickly and return the favour. When the student who started it is on the receiving end of a quick and effective response, that is usually the end of it. It seems to be kids testing each other.

These days it is important that kids have defensive/offensive fight training. For instance, my son was waiting for a bus at a bus stop after school and a guy tried to physically move him down the street to what, we don't know. However my son dropped him, got on the bus just coming around the corner and that was that. We have always said the the objective in a fight is to end it as quickly as possible, and that is what he does. His self-defense training gives him a lot of confidence. So the 6 years of karate pays off each day - just in self-assured awareness.

It is not so much the school kids who are trouble anymore, it is the predator driving or walking past looking to grab an unsuspecting kid like the one example above. It could be on a school day or weekend. Ordinary normal kids need new skills today - urban survival skills. Some kids who live a high-risk lifestyle already have the skills, but most kids do not.

As parents we think that the world environment is better and we are more kind and more thoughtful and our kids are too. Perhaps. But school age gangs try to recruit kids, perhaps your kid, with the lure of money or drugs, or perhaps by intimidation, and the road to a vicious and deliberately uncaring way of life and thought gets underway. Girls specifically are at risk as casual sex gives way to sex for goods and then blackmailed into much more than that.

There are many traps for kids these days which were not there two generations ago. Two generations ago kids were innocent. Not anymore. Not since the internet.

I believe we need to give our kids the tools to survive in the world of today and tomorrow. Now, that means online and gadget (iPod, etc.) safety and physical safety. So we educate the mind and educate the body.

These are tough times for parents. Most kids don't understand the dangers yet.

What sets a kid up as a victim? Another blog is coming for that diatribe.

On a positive note, most parents are much more aware and keep a watchful eye on their kids and their friends.

I do hope that parents and kids have a great summer together.

Cheers - Mike

This is a rant...

One day last week a student went to the school office to advise them that he needed another form for something and said that he didn't have the original form because he hadn't been home for over a week because his single mother was being stalked and she feared for his safety. (The stalker is now in jail.) However the staffer said. "Oh, you're making that up. That just doesn't happen!". So, without checking at all she just called him a liar.

What planet is she from? What bubble does she live in? Come on. I know he is telling the truth, not because he has been staying with my son and I, but because in my experience, he doesn't lie.

Do kids lie? Sometimes, but not with something like this.

Teachers and staff are in a position of authority. One would think some would be better informed.

I sincerely hope there are no other bubble people in schools.

arghh...

Cheers - Mike

In many cities and towns students who are going into high school from junior high are going to a new school as well.

Memories from junior high are many and year books are filled with comments from students who are saying goodbye to each other as they go off to different schools.

I attended grad ceremonies last Friday for my grade 9 student and 129 students were presented with their graduation certificates. Most students found that a bit boring but were looking forward to the dance which started after dinner that evening. The awards which were given out after the grad certificates were received by the students were interesting and many students were honored. Certificates were handed out to the honor students as well. The girls were extremely well dressed and most of the boys were too. The dance was a great success and fun for the students. It was organized for the students by the parents and no teachers were in attendance, which was by design. My son arrived home about midnight, tired but happy.

Now on to his new high school. It is a science and technology oriented high school with about 1,500 kids from grade 10 to grade 12. It also has the Advanced Placement (AP) Program and the Focus in Research, Science and Technology Program.
The open house at the school was very impressive. The students and teachers showed a real pride in their school and all classes and programs were well represented. The school: WP Wagner School in Edmonton.

Many classmates from the junior high school are going to the same high school as well, so it won't be an "alone" experience. Although I got the impression that the high school students I met at the open house would make the new students very welcome.

That's all for today.

Good teaching - good listening...

Cheers - Mike